I can't promise that I'll be here for the rest of your life... but I can promise that I will love you for the rest of mine~
I found this quote in a magazine on the night Tracy passed as I was enroute on a airplane trying to get to her in North Carolina. This quote stood out to me because this is who Tracy was, knowing her time was limited but loved each of us Triple Negative Breast Cancer sisters. I tried, I really did, but I did not make it to Tracy in time and was completely shattered when I missed my connecting flight. I can tell you that she went quick and peacefully to go home to the Lord and to be with her momma. I was told that Tracy knew that I was coming and that she was holding out for me but was just too tired... I was heartbroken but was at peace knowing that she was no longer suffering nor in pain anymore. My tears that flowed was out of love for my girl, my beautiful Tracy.
Throughout our journey together as breast cancer sisters, Tracy and I quickly bonded and was drawn to her positive but realistic take on life and her sense of humor, we shared many late night laughters... God, that girl was so funny, she would get me laughing so hard. Tracy and I did shared a special sisterly kind of bond, she was my twin I would always tell her. Tracy was unique and had an incredible lust for life... to know her was to love her. Tracy's fight was for quality of life, she didn't want to be held down from sickness, weakness and fatigue... She traveled with her husband and friends till the very end. She trail ride, zip-lined and met up with many of her Triple Negative Breast Cancer sisters that she met in our support group, Tracy did live life.
At the top of my bucket-list was to meet my TNBC "Twisted Sisters" before one of us has a recurrence, never thought that my Tracy, the one that I have grown very close to, would be the first. I met up with Kitty & Tracy for a girl's weekend this past May in Louisville, Kentucky, we all were just so giddy to finally meet each other face to face, we had so much fun. I had stayed with Tracy twice at her home in North Carolina over the summer, just spending time together, helping her out with her horses and running to doctor appointments. I was just down there again at Tracy's just after Christmas through New Years, Tracy was tiring but it was all good to just be there by her side comforting her with affection. This past week, our phone calls grew shorter, it was exhausting her. I have missed a couple of Tracy's phone calls just a few days prior to her passing, and I was torn that she wasn't accepting incoming calls. I told Tracy early on to please check in with me daily even if it was just to say goodnight and she did. I also asked Tracy to not ever push me away or shut me out when things got bad, Tracy called me one last time Wednesday night before she passed, the conversation was short but it was good to hear her laughter and tell me she loved me one last time. From there, I myself didn't know much of what was going on and received very little information on Tracy's condition. I truly admired Tracy for her strength and bravery, taking on her cancer as she did, she did it her way and had no regrets. Tracy loved all of you TNBC ladies, she really did. We will treasure her memories and great conversations we had with her in our group. Tracy would want us to be strong and not remain sad very long for she was at peace with her own fate. Tracy had left footprints on our hearts and I'll never ever forget her infectious smile, she had a wonderful, beautiful smile. Tracy loved her horses... ride on Tracy, ride forever.
My lady friends, please keep up with your monthly breast
self-exams and annual mammograms. TNBC is a nasty cancer that has no targeted therapy yet. Please consider a donation to the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation (TNBC) in memory of Tracy. http://www.tnbcfoundation.org/donate.htm
Thank you and God Bless, Melissa