Toledo Walleye Hockey "Pink In The Rink" 2011

Me and TNBC survivor and good friend, Genny Diaz Williams whom I met at radiation went to "Pink at the Rink" on March 4, 2011 to support breast cancer awareness where tens of thousands of dollars was raised for Susan G. Komen for the Cure for research. 

Life Beyond Breast Cancer

I am now a 18 month survivor and celebrated another birthday this past August, Woo Hoo! Being 1 year out post treatment, I feel great for the most part... I still have a lot of fatigue tho. Is there such thing as chemo brain? Absolutely!... Seriously, I feel like my brain is fried... I have become very forgetful and it does annoy me at times and can be frustrating ... best thing for me to do is to write everything down. On one of several occasions, I've had trouble with words, for instance, recently was trying to type a message and I couldn't figure out how to spell the word "sad", it just wouldn't come to me... then I went to my dictionary to look the word up but then I couldn't sound it out... I was flustered, It's a 3 letter word S-A-D, I knew how to spell it, I'm not stupid, it's just my brain wouldn't function like it use to. 
After 9 months without a "cycle" due to chemo treatments, my menopause was just temporarily with period returning but irregular, Doc thinking I'll hit menopause again within 2 years My husband saw it as a sign that I'm getting better. Sucks to know that I have to go through menopause twice now. I still often rub my port scar missing my port being there... weird, I know. My hair came in gray and got darker and wavier as it's getting longer, about 5-6in. long now but seems like it's taking forever to grow out. I had my mammogram along with a MRI in September, CLEAR SCANS, still in remission... What a relief, I am now starting to feel confident about my health again. At my last breast exam, there was I think 3 interns; 1 male and 2 females, a nurse, my research coordinator and my oncologist when she asked me if I mind undressing so she can do a breast exam? Actually, I did mind with that many people in the room all looking at me. My oncologist then asked me if I want some of them to leave the room and I said, "Yes, all the woman can leave" leaving just the one one male intern, she laughed and sent all the woman out of the room. I then had my oncologist and the male intern turn around while I unbuttoned my shirt because I didn't want them to see the old raggedly bra I had on. 

My oncologist told the male intern that he has to ask me for my permission to do a breast exam on me so he asked me, "Melissa, May I"... I didn't even let him finish and I said, "Yes, you may!" My oncologist laughed and said she was going to email and tell my husband afterwards, LOL!

This past fall, my research coordinator had me on a study for ginseng for energy to help with my fatigue. After the first 8 weeks, I found out that I was only taking a placebo. Then 4 weeks of the "real" ginseng, it didn't help me at all with my fatigue... bummer. 
Let me tell you a little about BRCA that I'm still learning about. BCRA is a gene mutation that is passed down in family and is linked to a great risk of breast cancer and ovarian cancer. From what I heard is that most BRCA Positive cancer is also Triple Negative cancer and has a 80% chance of recurrence. Me being Triple Negative, that would make me a good candidate of being a BRCA carrier but I chose not to get tested because I don't want to know. My surgeon told me that it's not whether I get tested or not, it's what I decide to do with that information if I was to test positive for BRCA. Being BRCA positive, the recommendation would be to have a bilaterial mastectomy and have ovaries and tubal removal because the risks are so high. I don't think I could go through all that when everything is healthy right now if I was to test positive... It's too much for me to handle right night, kinda like starting all over again without the treatments. Doc told me to concentrate on the 20% of non-recurrence and reduce my risks with staying fit, low-fat diet changes, exercise, keeping up with my scans and now add ultrasound on my ovaries annually to the my list. The whole thing is pretty scary, I figured I deal with it when and if the time comes. 
I have participated in some of The Victory Center's programs and activities: massages and facials were my favorite; reflexology was good on my feet; Healing Touch and Reiki, I couldn't get into.... I guess it's not for me. What I enjoy most about the Victory Center is the Breast Cancer Support Group where you can go and talk to other women who have walked in my shoe's that don't mind talking about breast cancer and sharing each other's experiences. 
I walked the Komen Race for the Cure with some lady friends from high school... Wow, there was a lot of pink, a lot of survivors participating in the walk... you see the reality of how many women have been affected by breast cancer in NorthWest, Ohio. I participated in the University of Toledo's Relay for Life in December with my son. I've gone to various Susan G. Komen and The Victory Center events including University of Toledo girls basketball's "Rocket for the Cure", Toledo Mud Hens hockey "Pink in the Rink", various guest speaker events and The Victory Center's Luncheon and Fashion show featuring cancer survivors as models. 
After treatments, with no job to return to, I spent a good part of my summer visiting a good friend at the lake... trying to figure out my new "normal" and adjust to living again. Having Cancer has made me a much stronger woman, I know now that I can withstand anything. I have to admit that life after cancer treatments is a lot harder than when i was going through it. People seem to think that when you're done with treatments and is cancer free that it's done and over, put it behind you, things can go back to normal... Only if it was that easy. I've been struggling some... the life I once had, there's no going back to... so many changes that I'm learning to cope with still. I've got tears in my eyes as I'm writing this, because people just don't "get it" and I don't like to complain. I miss my jobs I once had, I really loved the work I did and it's all gone, my work defined me. I'm tired all the time and am not spending real quality time with my son and husband and we all have noticed it. I feel so scattered brain at times to the point I don't like to take on anything challenging and has been difficult for me to take care of my house like I should. I've been stressing with my follow-up appointments with how I'm gonna pay for the visits since my health insurance changed drastically. Diet and lifestyle changes have gotten easier but I still have a long way to go to reduce my chance of recurrence... It took me a year to get this through my head but I have to do it, I really do and it takes a lot of self discipline to stay on track. Along with my hair loss, the change in my breast appearance, limited use of my arm for risk of lymphedema, lasting aches and pains and the fear of relapse... This has all taken a toll on me. My "Triple Pink " sisters "get it"... they're all going through the exact same thing and just want to feel and look normal again, it hasn't been easy. I have reached out to many TNBC survivors who had walked my same path, it's very self-rewarding knowing that you have made a difference in that person's outlook as I do have a positive attitude... Don't get me wrong, I do have a lot of good days too where I get out and do fun stuff... I like living for the moment, enjoy who and what's around me... LOL, I do post a lot of pictures of good times, don't I? 

Victory Center's Luncheon And Fashion Show Benefit 2011

On February 18, 2011, 360 guests came out to support The Victory Center's 4th annual Luncheon and Fashion Show featuring courageous cancer survivors as models.

Pictured with me is my friend/former co-worker Julie Overy on my left and my mother-in-law, Barb Purney on my right. Another very nice event for a very good cause, The Victory Center has been another home for me to meet up with other breast cancer survivors for good conversations.

Chemo Cocktail...

Melissa Stukenborg Paskvan ‎...instead, I got the red devil cocktail...
pftt, the hangover the next morning, feels like I had enough tequila to
 knock me on my ass for the next 12 days!
Karen Miller Herbert No other cocktail will do that to you Melissa
 ...must be good stuff...NOT !!!

Blame It On Chemo!

Thinking and Memory problems... Who, me? Us cancer survivors has this side effect after going through cancer treatments, it's called Chemo Brain and at times can be very frustrating...
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/chemo-brain/DS01109
 (Click link for full story)

Rita

A quote from my indonesian girl Rita, "SoRry for kept this pics so long guys and forgot to say "Thank U" for the book... Its my chemo brain did this not me!! :D :D. GBU.."

Blueberries Fights Triple Negative Breast Cancer

"Possessing a navy hue and a powerful punch, the blueberry is one of the most potent and popular disease fighters available. Now, City of Hope researchers have found another weapon to add to the blueberry’s arsenal of disease-fighting properties: the ability to control tumor growth, decrease metastasis and induce cell death in triple-negative breast cancer cells."

http://cityofhope.org/superfoods-blueberries (Click link to story) 

 

"DON'T LET BREAST CANCER STEAL SECOND BASE"

There are the normal ( . )( . ), the silicone ( + )( + ), the perfect (o)(o) Some are cold (^)(^) and some belong to grandmothers \./\./

And let’s not forget the very large(o Y o), the very small 

(.)(.) and the asimetrical (•)(.)We love them all!...Post this message on your wall and say ┌П┐(◉_◉)┌П┐ to breast cancer

Toledo's "Rockets For The Cure" 2011

Me and my triple pink sister, Genny who I met at radiation treatment, we went to The Toledo "Rockets for the Cure" girls basketball game on January 29, 2011. Pictured with us, Naama Shafir from Toledo Rockets, This #4 pink jersey fetched $3,400! "Junior guard Naama Shafir, whose jersey sold for $3,400 during a post-game live auction of the players' pink jerseys benefiting the Susan G. Komen for the Cure of Northwest Ohio foundation, led the Rockets with 16 points."

Dear Lord...

Dear Lord, You’ve done so much for me
Thank You with all my soul
But, I’ve something to ask of thee
Needing Your grand control
I’ve waged this battle and I’ve wonYet, others battle still
For some, their journey’s just begun
Please guide each in Your will.

I’ve walked this road; I’ve felt each bump
I have conquered Your test
I’ve grown much wiser, since the lump
Located in my breast
I see the world much differently
I pray others will, too
So many fight audaciously
Lord, help to see them through.

Dear Lord, I ask with all my heart
Please touch these special lives
Bless them with courage from the start
Bring hope into their eyes
Let their hope shine a hallowed light
That burns forevermore
To honor their spirited fight
And our dreams for a cure.

© 2008 – Jill Eisnaugle’s Poetry Collection (found this and was so moved by the words just had to share)

Relay for Life 2010...

My Success Story

Toledo's The Victory Center for cancer patient support services has selected me to write my success story to The Susan G. Komen Foundation to go along with their grant funding to TVC.

Project Title: Discovering Inner Strength: Support for Women with Breast Cancer

Project Organization: The Victory Center

Brief Summary of Success Story:

My husband and son had just left that day for vacation, when I found my lump by chance when I felt something along my bra band line under my breast. My heart just sunk, and I was in disbelief that my worst fear was now happening to me. I reacted fast and two days later I got in for a mammogram followed by an ultrasound. My 2cm. lump did not show up on the mammogram images and it was thought to be just a cyst but I insisted on a needle biopsy right then and there. Another two days go by, and I received the call from my doctor. I'm 41 and I have cancer.... I was numb; all I can think about is my son and now had to tell my husband who just totally broke down in tears. Two long weeks later, I met with my surgeon who told me that I have a rare and aggressive form of cancer that doesn't respond to hormone therapy and later learned from the Internet that there was a term for it, Triple Negative Breast Cancer. I knew I was in for a fight and had to be strong and stay focused. I opted for a lumpectomy, followed by an intense cocktail chemotherapy every other week for 3 1/2 months and then 33 radiation treatments. Currently, I am on a clinical trial for Bisphosphonate therapy research study as a preventative for bone cancer, taking 2 pills daily for 3 years. I am now a 1 year survivor and what scares me the most is the Triple Negative Breast Cancer's tendency of recurrence, the lack of treatments for it, and the need for more research.

Nearing the end of my treatments I felt lost; I was now unemployed for my employers didn't hold my positions for me…what do I do now? I turned to The Victory Center for support, trying to figure out my new "normal”. At The Victory Center, I was surrounded by people who didn't mind talking about cancer. I immediately got involved in their Breast Cancer support group where their group therapist, Nicole, is very compassionate, understanding and knowledgeable. The support group has helped me rejuvenate my self-image and ease the transition that I've been going through. All the positive energy that flows through the room during group sessions has such an uplifting effect on my mental attitude. I have also taken advantage of The Victory Center's Massage Therapy where I can go and unwind, relax and free my mind of worries for a short while, while the massage therapist works my muscles, easing my tensions and then go home feeling renewed. As a 9 month client of The Victory Center, I see them as my extended family, my sisterhood, my home away from home. I have been proud to represent The Victory Center survivors at various events, my way of giving back by being a voice for TVC. I have not yet participated in TVC's exercise programs but, I am eager to find some energy and time knowing the importance of physical activity and its role in breast cancer recurrence. As I am getting back on my feet again, my new normal is living for the moment, be happy, enjoy life, my family and friends and to reach out, give reassurance and educate breast cancer patients particularly in the area of TNBC. To raise awareness and funding for cancer, I've participated in walks for Making Strides against Breast Cancer, Relay for Life and Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. God is Great, Life is Good.

- Melissa Paskvan

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Striking Out... Bowl Down Cancer Event

Representing The Victory Center and as cancer survivors in the fight against Cancer, Joann and I rolled out the first bowling ball down the lane kicking off the event, Striking Out... Bowl Down Cancer during the opening ceremony on Oct. 2, 2010. Proceeds from this event went to Susan G. Komen for the Cure and America Cancer Society Relay for Life.

Record Breaking Race For The Cure 2010 - "Imagine Life Without Breast Cancer."

I was part of the largest 17th Annual Komen Northwest Ohio Race for the Cure to date! More than 19,000 registered participants including more than 1,500 survivors have helped raise more than $981,000 on September 26, 2010. I had a great time meeting up with some friends from McAuley High School who came out to honor me. I really loved it that a bunch of motorcycle riders lined their motorcycles along Summit St. and revved their engines as we walked past them during the walk. Totally amazes me by how many supporters come up to congratulate me as I'm walking including cheerleaders who all came up and hugged me at the end of the race and handed me pink carnations.

Vote 4 The Victory Center daily in the month of October to help them win $250k grant

www.thevictorycenter.org

Keep the votes coming for October, I want this win of $250,000 Pepsi grant for the Toledo's The Victory Center so they can build a bigger facility for cancer patients support services. I'm a BC survivor and patient of Victory Center and I support this project! I would like to give back to The Victory Center by getting your votes. Click link below:http://www.refresheverything.com/newhome4thevictorycenter or from your cell phone Text* 102523 to Pepsi (73774) Victory Center has done wonderful things for me: support group, massages, facials, reflexology and event outings. Thank you, Melissa- Triple Negative Breast Cancer Survivor

Goals

• Purchase a facility suited to the 30% growth we're experiencing.
• To provide over 6,000 services yearly to local cancer patients.
• Have 4 treatment rooms and 2 large multi-purpose spaces.
• Equip our new facility with an improved media and educational center.
• Continue to help men, women, and children diagnosed with cancer.

http://www.thevictorycenter.org/

FIND THE CURE

Find the cure.
A safe cure.
One that does not cut.
One that does not burn.
One that does not poison.(●)(●)